id: nonviolent-communication-request
title: NVC Request Step
description: >-
  The fourth step of Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication — making
  a clear, actionable request rather than a demand. Used after observation,
  feelings, and needs have been shared.
source: Center for Nonviolent Communication
source_url: https://www.cnvc.org/
tags: [nvc, communication, request, conflict]
forked_from: null
image: null
steps:
  - headline: Form a concrete request
    description: >-
      The speaker makes a specific, doable request: "Would you be willing
      to check in with me before changing our shared deadline?" rather than
      "I want you to be more considerate."
  - headline: Phrase as a question
    description: >-
      The request is phrased as a question the other can answer with no,
      without punishment. A request is not a demand.
  - headline: Receive the answer
    description: >-
      The speaker receives the answer — yes, no, or counter — without
      withdrawing empathy or imposing consequence. A "no" is information
      about the other's needs, not a rejection.
  - headline: Continue the dialogue
    description: >-
      If the answer is no, the speaker returns to the other's feelings and
      needs, exploring what need the "no" is meeting.
outcome: >-
  A clear request is made that the other can freely accept or refuse,
  keeping the dialogue in connection rather than coercion.
practice: >-
  If a "no" leads to punishment or guilt, the request was a demand. Test
  yourself: would you still respect a "no"? If not, you are not yet making
  a request.